Saturday, November 20, 2010

Superblog 1

So I've decided to try something new. Every few days or so (or whenever I can't think of something good to blog about), I'm going to update my Facebook status, asking people to give me topic ideas. Then I'll take everyone's suggestions (or most of them) and combine them into a superblog. Most of these will be fictional stories (actually, probably all of them, but I'm allowing for margin of error). So, without further ado, here goes:

Most everyone has read about the ancient alien theories. How they came to Earth in the early days of civilization and created those wonderful and mysterious structures that still remain to this day: the Pyramids, the Mayan Temples, Stonehenge, etc. They appeared to these primitive people as gods and gave them the skills necessary to leave their mark on this world. What today's people wonder is a) did these aliens exist, and b) if they did, why did they decide to be benevolent?

This is where I come in. I have the real answers. Unfortunately, no one would ever believe me, so I'm pretty much just writing this down in case someone ever decides that I might be telling the truth. Yes, those aliens existed and still exist. I’d like to say that I’m one of them, but that would be a lie. Let me start from the beginning.

I have always been drawn to these ancient sites. Something about these ruins resonated deep within me. I always promised myself that when I finally got the money gathered up, I would go and see these places for myself and try and resolve this feeling. In my twenty-first year, I finally got my chance. I was in England on vacation with my little sister, and we found really cheap tickets to see Stonehenge (we were both college students, so it was the only way we’d ever be able to afford going there). She’s a big England buff, so she was just as excited to go as I was, though admittedly for completely different reasons.

We left our hostel very early that morning to get to the shuttle on time. As we boarded, we were both literally bouncing up and down with excitement; however, I noticed that there was this one man who was staring me down. I didn’t think much about it. After all, I wasn’t acting like a traditional sane person. I sat towards the back with my sister, who promptly fell asleep (she has a bad case of carcolepsy). The strange man kept looking back and glancing at me. Every time our eyes met, he quickly turned back and started talking to his companion (I’d say friend, but the other guy looked like he was merely tolerating his presence). This continued the entire two-hour trip.

We finally arrived at around noon. This was the moment I had been waiting for my entire life. We came up to the ticket area, and they handed us a map. Then I had this horrible realization: we weren’t allowed to actually go near the actual stones: they were roped off about 50 feet away. My disappointment was crushing, but not for long. I swore that I was going to get near enough to those stones to touch it, even if I had to sneak back when no one was watching. I told my sister about my scheme, and she readily agreed. Then I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. “We’re in as well,” I heard a deep voice say. I knew instinctively that it was the very same man from the front of the bus earlier. Sure enough, my instincts were proven right. However, I wasn’t expecting to see the other man standing beside him. My plans were suddenly complicated by these two potential extra witnesses.

“Very well,” I replied. “We won’t return on the bus. Instead, we’ll hide in the nearby hills until everyone has left for the day. Then we’ll sneak back and get a real view of Stonehenge.” I was secretly hoping that the men would be discouraged by this plan, but instead they just nodded and melted back into the crowd. I was starting to really get creeped out by these guys. I told my little sister that we were really going to ditch them. We headed back for the bus. I was just about to get on, but I could feel the stones calling to me, begging me to listen to their story (or I really was going crazy. Either way, my curiosity was piqued). I told my sister I had to go to the bathroom and that I would be back in a minute. We both knew I was lying, but she didn’t call me on it. I’ll forever remain grateful to her for that.

After what seemed like a million years, it was finally time. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen pictures of what’s around Stonehenge, but it’s nothing but a bunch of rolling hills with some sheep and random crops here and there. There’s not exactly a plethora of hiding places. I found an inconspicuous enclave on the side of one of the hills. A sheep grazed nearby every once in a while, but otherwise I remained undisturbed. Eventually boredom overcame me and I fell asleep (I did wake up very early that morning and I really had nothing better to do).

When I awoke, it was long past nightfall. There was a sliver of a moon setting in the west. I popped out of my hiding spot and slowly made my way towards the mysterious ruins. The stones seemed gigantic and menacing in the dark, even though I knew that by day they just looked like a big circle of rocks. I heard a rustling sound behind me a little to the left and I nearly jumped out of my skin. Then I heard a gentle “baaa” and almost started laughing. A silly sheep nearly gave me a heart attack. I started again towards the site. As I got closer, I noticed two of the shadows were remarkably shorter than the others. I stopped again a good 100 feet from them. I had forgotten about the creepy guys in my excitement.

“Don’t worry, there’s no one here, and it’ll be a long while before anyone comes around.” I noticed that his voice seemed remarkably clear for being so far away, and it didn’t sound like he was speaking above a normal speaking tone. I also realized that his accent sounded Australian. “Yes, we emigrated here from Australia when we were much younger.” Ok, now it was just getting creepy. “Come inside the circle and have a little chat. I promise we are not…how’d you say it…creepy?” At this point, it seemed as if it was beyond my control. I stepped into the circle. I was half expecting something mysterious to happen: some big light to flash, a space ship to show up, something. But no, nothing. Except this gentle laughing coming from the shadowy, creepy strangers. “You humans have some really ego-centric ideas about what should happen. As if you and you alone would cause a reaction simply by standing on sacred ground.” Once again, his words were impossibly sharp and clear, almost as if… No, that’s impossible, right?

“No, not impossible. We just so happen to be from a place that has learned how to use our brains a fuller potential.” So, this…guy…is talking to me in my head. Honest to god telepathy. Admittedly, it’s a bit much to handle all at once. I don’t know how long I just stood there in shock. I heard (is “heard” even the correct term in this case? My ears aren’t technically being used…oh well. My brain is already melting at the thought of comprehending this.) him sigh every once in a while, but it wasn’t a necessarily impatient sigh. Finally, I gathered the courage to actually speak.

“Who are you? What are you? What do you want with Earth? What do you want with me?” (Such a terribly cliché line of questions, but they are the ones that would potentially give me the most information. Also, my brain at that point had completely melted. I’m lucky I even spoke words at all).

“Well, I’m the answer to the questions you’ve been asking yourself your whole life. My friend and I here are the reason that this place exists. There are other places similar to this as well: The pyramids, the Mayan temples, even some of the more complex crop circles. We have helped your human ancestors to understand the more modern technologies and thus they have inadvertently created sites that we so desperately needed.” He paused just for a moment. “Ah, I see that you are incredulous about the crop circles. It’s interesting to me that that is the point that you find the least believable. They are a new form of site that we are working on that is…I believe you would say “eco-friendly?” You see, this way there is no permanent evidence of our existence, unlike places like this one here. We can’t afford to have too many people suspect our existence. It’s bad for business, and would inevitably cause panic.

“As to what we are: we are, as you might have guessed by now, not from Earth. We are aliens from a planet whose name your voicebox is physically incapable of saying. We’ll just call it Planet Koil for now. My name is irrelevant, but you may call me Kendau. My compatriot’s name is Wehaw.

“Earth is a unique planet. She harnesses so many different forms of energy, and houses so many different species and creatures. We are merely seeking one of the most basic needs in life: food.” I bristled at the mental image of a full-scale alien invasion and the death of the world. “Don’t fret so much, child.” (I also bristled at being called a child) “If you’d think for a second, you’d realize that such an end would surely have already happened by now, if not several times over. No, our sustenance must be taken in aurally. Your physical sounds are what make us thrive. Music is the most potent and most delicious form. These random sites are what send our food to us. We are more than happy to pay for our meals: most humans see their payment in the form of inspiration to make more music. It creates an infinite cycle that is beneficial for everyone. Originally, the sounds were very traditional and healthy. They had complex rhythms, instruments working melody, counter-melody and harmony, etc. As we’ve begun to switch over to a new system (your crop circles), it has had a slight effect on the quality of the music. It’s gone from Bach and Beethoven to Christina Aguilera and Lady Gaga. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, it’s just…different. Of course, sometimes we get a rare gem. The lady Björk’s music is especially delicious. It seems to agree with the eco-awareness that we’re currently working with.

“As to what we want with you. We want to make you a legend in your own right. You know the siren’s call. You know how it feels to be truly drawn to something bigger than you. Your music would be such a delicacy that people on Koil would pay a lot of…I guess its equivalent is money…just to taste a single G major chord that came from one of your masterpieces. So we’re basically just using you, but you also get something out of it. The only catch is that we will need to stay in touch with you often in order to help mold the most delicious sounds possible. So, will you help us?”

At this point, I knew they had to be messing with me. I mean, yeah, I’d always wanted to be a famous singer, but I mean, who hasn’t? If these men really were aliens, then they’d find a way to make me do their bidding anyway. I mean, they could already read my mind. However, if it was a clever pair of con-artists who suddenly had a 21 year old girl alone in the middle of nowhere…yeeeaaaahhhhh… I ran as fast as I could away from them. If they were legit, they’d find me again. I managed to hitchhike my way back to London. It was about dawn by the time I got back to the main part of the city, and about 8am before I made it to the hostel. My sister had a few choice words to say to me, but she calmed down once I told her my story.

The rest of my vacation passed without a significant event. I didn’t see the two strange “Australian” men the rest of the trip. When we got back to the States, I decided to pack up all my belongings, put them on sale at a flea market, and head to my next destination. My morbid sense of curiosity was dying for me to see what was waiting at the Pyramids…



  1. Oooooo, fancy. Björk is especially delicious, awesome 8D

  2. Nina that was so entertaining! You should become a writer. :)